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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Biggest Fears

Last night, I found a little spider in my house.

My first instinct was to panic and scream, but I was all alone and there was no point in screaming when, eventually, I would just have to deal with it myself (or risk LOSING SIGHT of the little demon, which would mean that when I went to sleep, all alone and vulnerable, there would be a spider loose in my home).

I tried several different tactics. I gestured at it with the remote, encouraging my dog Shadow and my roommate's puppy Remix (a little black lab) to eat the little thing.

No luck. They just kept trying to bite the remote, which is NOT the type of habit I want my dogs to get into, so I stopped that tactic pretty quickly.

Then I tried a stare-down. That lasted about three seconds before the little bugger started to move and then I had to act, which I did, with a rolled up magazine (Glamour, in case you cared).

Squish. Then I went back to reading Lolita.

After I was done with the spider issue, I started to think about our biggest animal fears. I don't have big fears of insects like a lot of my friends do, except for (some) spiders. Little ones, I'm totally good with. But as soon as I see a brown recluse or a black widow, I FREAK out. This, I think, comes from having an ex pass away due to complications after a bite from a brown recluse spider. Now, I'm panicky about spiders (especially around Boyfriend), unless I know for SURE that they are little harmless ones, or the big wolf spiders that look scary but I don't think are dangerous (Jesus, I hope they aren't. If they are, someone please tell me).

I don't hate bees. I hate ants, but only because they are SO IRRITATING (ditto with mosquitos!). I love dogs, even (and sometimes especially) pit bulls. I'm fine with cats. The only thing I'm really scared of is (don't laugh):


I hate sharks. In fact, I really dislike swimming in the ocean after I found out that some sharks can attack in like, 18 inches of water. That's where I had always felt safe! Now where can I hide? Weirdly, the safest I've ever felt in the ocean was when I was snorkeling in Hawaii. Then, I could look down and see what was beneath my feet. I hate that feeling of treading water and knowing that below you, there could be fish, sting rays, jellyfish, biting fish, and SHARKS.

Shudder shudder shudder.

What scares you the most?

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