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Monday, April 4, 2011

True Love and True Kindness

Boyfriend and I have been dating for two years in July. (Side note: When we first started dating, I counted each month carefully and say, "We've been together eight months" or "we've been together three months". After the year and a half mark, I started estimating. I still say a year and a half sometimes)

TWO YEARS! That seems like so long, though! Two years. Growing up, I saw people date all through high school or even two years in middle school. It just seemed like a lifetime. I couldn't picture being with someone that long.

Then Boyfriend came along (cue sappy music) and now, I can't picture life without him.

I think Boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We have fun together, we truly care about each other, and I love him as much as he loves me. Believe it or not, I think that most relationships fail because someone loves the other person more than he loves her (or she loves him). It has to be perfect so that nobody has more power or pull in the relationship. I think Boyfriend and I have that.

One of the things that struck me is what my mom said when we'd been together just a few months. She told Boyfriend's mother that she can tell we are good for each other and that we are "just so nice to each other". Boyfriend's mom smiled, thought about it, and agreed.

When my mom told me that, I also paused to think about it. Boyfriend and I don't go out of our way to be overly nice to each other (in a fake way), but I guess in general, we are really kind to one another. I'd never want him to feel sad or embarrassed about himself because of my teasing or because I don't support him. He's my best friend and my love... if I'm not his biggest fan and best friend and best support system, who will be?

I think niceness is something lacking, sometimes. Sure, I joke with my friends when we call each other silly names, but none of my friends ever make me feel like I can't do something or like I'm not good enough to go after something I want. They are all really good people and understand the importance of ethics in any part of your life- friends, work, school, family, and love.

Boyfriend and I are nice to each other because we are happy together. This makes me think of Sex and the City, when Samantha asks the other girls if they are really happy in their relationships. I think my relationship stance is most like Charlotte's response: [I'm happy] every day. Not all day every day, but every day.

That is definitely how I feel. Every day, I feel thankful that I have someone in my life like Boyfriend, someone who makes me laugh and lets me make the big decisions (I have a control issue... I really, really like to be involved in decision-making and choices) and, if I let him, would dedicate all of his time to running my errands and dedicate all of his money to me without hestitation. This freedom with his time and love really makes me think about him more.. about what is best for him and what would make him happy.

I guess that's what it all boils down to: a relationship works best when each person just wants to see the other person happy. And, cheesily enough, Boyfriend is what makes me happy.


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